in this silence,
I find my heart asking
for what I sometimes fear:
for You to bring Your death
to what is now not me
anymore.
my cowering darkness
clings to
this lack of talk,
knowing that when You speak
it has no where to go,
no where to run.
my will betrays my fears,
praying haphazardly
for Your violent words;
words that can make
an apple pie from scratch
now threatening to make something new
out of me.
Friday, March 7, 2008
excited
For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about the future.
I feel Your leading and have a sense of what could be possible
if I release my will to Yours.
My thoughts are on prayer and bible study. A desire
to understand and know the mysteries of You.
I feel You encouraging me to become more than what I am.
I'm excited that I'm thinking about You, when I didn't before.
I like how it affects my view of the current circumstance.
It is good to know that You as my Author
are still writing in my book.
I feel Your leading and have a sense of what could be possible
if I release my will to Yours.
My thoughts are on prayer and bible study. A desire
to understand and know the mysteries of You.
I feel You encouraging me to become more than what I am.
I'm excited that I'm thinking about You, when I didn't before.
I like how it affects my view of the current circumstance.
It is good to know that You as my Author
are still writing in my book.
You are the Maker
inhale, breathe. you are free,
made anew within Me.
like a flower in the spring,
you are anew within Me.
within me. within me.
inhale, breathe.
inhale, breathe.
you are alive within Me.
open your eyes
and look around-
darkness is gone,
faith is found.
just like the seasons that
come and go,
so does your life
that I have made so.
given to Me,
your life will be
like a tree
that looses its leaves
and comes back to life
abundantly.
made anew within Me.
like a flower in the spring,
you are anew within Me.
within me. within me.
inhale, breathe.
inhale, breathe.
you are alive within Me.
open your eyes
and look around-
darkness is gone,
faith is found.
just like the seasons that
come and go,
so does your life
that I have made so.
given to Me,
your life will be
like a tree
that looses its leaves
and comes back to life
abundantly.
everything changes
lonliness creeps up on me in a room full of people
fear comes calling even when surrounded by family and friends
worry grips the nerves even when there is
no control over the outcome
doubt pushes at the corners of the mind
with no real reason
but then, with the very thought of Jesus
everything changes!
when I hear Him call my name and
speak to me in my darkest moments-
everything changes!
when I feel His Almighty presence in my life
everything changes!
When I am reminded time and time again
of His faithfulness
everything changes!
When I allow Him to work in me
and through me
everything changes!
I am His and He is mine
in everything.
fear comes calling even when surrounded by family and friends
worry grips the nerves even when there is
no control over the outcome
doubt pushes at the corners of the mind
with no real reason
but then, with the very thought of Jesus
everything changes!
when I hear Him call my name and
speak to me in my darkest moments-
everything changes!
when I feel His Almighty presence in my life
everything changes!
When I am reminded time and time again
of His faithfulness
everything changes!
When I allow Him to work in me
and through me
everything changes!
I am His and He is mine
in everything.
i want to go
"This is what the Sovereign God, the Holy One of Isreal says:
'In repentance and rest is your salvation,
In quietness and trust in your strength. '" Isaiah 30:15
Lord, I am so weary and it is a
mental and emotional weariness that
comes from letting this world and
the cares of this world drain me.
I spend my days hurrying, assessing, documenting, thinking
talking, observing, writing, giving, caring
Lord, I want to stay in Your presence--
I want to rest in you every day, all day
to be filled, renewed, restored, revitalized
by You. I want to be strengthened
through You, in You, by You.
Today I heard a child say
"I want to go to heaven."
and I had to shout out-
"Oh! So do I!"
Lord I can't wait to be in Your presence
FOREVER and EVER
But today, at this moment, keep me close to You
be my strength
be my everything
I trust You in all things.
'In repentance and rest is your salvation,
In quietness and trust in your strength. '" Isaiah 30:15
Lord, I am so weary and it is a
mental and emotional weariness that
comes from letting this world and
the cares of this world drain me.
I spend my days hurrying, assessing, documenting, thinking
talking, observing, writing, giving, caring
Lord, I want to stay in Your presence--
I want to rest in you every day, all day
to be filled, renewed, restored, revitalized
by You. I want to be strengthened
through You, in You, by You.
Today I heard a child say
"I want to go to heaven."
and I had to shout out-
"Oh! So do I!"
Lord I can't wait to be in Your presence
FOREVER and EVER
But today, at this moment, keep me close to You
be my strength
be my everything
I trust You in all things.
1 John 3:19-20
I'm standing on the edge
Will I fly or will I fall?
If I fly--for how long?
If I fall--or when I fall--will it hurt?
How much?
"Perfect love casts out fear"
I love You, God
I believe "God is love"
I still stand here on the ledge...Afraid
Yet what if I fall?
Some of the greatest moments in my life
came after a fall.
It was after the fall of a broken heart
that I discovered the love of my Father
It was after the fall of my pride
that I felt the gentle touch of a Savior
It was after realizing the emptiness of false hope and empty talent
that I experienced the beauty of worship.
In my mind I hear the lies.
I feel the doubt in my heart.
But Your word says "whenever our heart condemns us,
God is greater than our hearts and
he knows everything"
I hold You to that.
Father, tell me when to jump and I will
tell me where to go and I will
tell me what to do and I will
Whenever, Whatever, Wherever
When doubts come, you are bigger
When fears surface, you are stronger
When my comfort is tested, Lord, You are worth letting it go
Whatever life you have for me on the other side of the ledge
I know is better than where I stand now.
Whill I fly or will I fall....I know either one is worth the journey.
Will I fly or will I fall?
If I fly--for how long?
If I fall--or when I fall--will it hurt?
How much?
"Perfect love casts out fear"
I love You, God
I believe "God is love"
I still stand here on the ledge...Afraid
Yet what if I fall?
Some of the greatest moments in my life
came after a fall.
It was after the fall of a broken heart
that I discovered the love of my Father
It was after the fall of my pride
that I felt the gentle touch of a Savior
It was after realizing the emptiness of false hope and empty talent
that I experienced the beauty of worship.
In my mind I hear the lies.
I feel the doubt in my heart.
But Your word says "whenever our heart condemns us,
God is greater than our hearts and
he knows everything"
I hold You to that.
Father, tell me when to jump and I will
tell me where to go and I will
tell me what to do and I will
Whenever, Whatever, Wherever
When doubts come, you are bigger
When fears surface, you are stronger
When my comfort is tested, Lord, You are worth letting it go
Whatever life you have for me on the other side of the ledge
I know is better than where I stand now.
Whill I fly or will I fall....I know either one is worth the journey.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
shades of gray
my immediate future is varying shades of gray.
even though I can't see past the next minute
You love assures me of my future in You being
the brightest of white.
I pray my focus, my attention, my priorities are
in line with Your Son as the planets are with theirs.
as my life revolves around You, I pray that Your
gravity, Your love pulls me ever closer.
the closer I get, my black turns to gray then
to white until only You are visible.
joy is being in the light.
even though I can't see past the next minute
You love assures me of my future in You being
the brightest of white.
I pray my focus, my attention, my priorities are
in line with Your Son as the planets are with theirs.
as my life revolves around You, I pray that Your
gravity, Your love pulls me ever closer.
the closer I get, my black turns to gray then
to white until only You are visible.
joy is being in the light.
this season
Lord, I come to You with a joyous heart...
as a child feeling the safety that comes from a parent's embrace
with a peace which makes me feel like I'm home--no matter where I'm at.
I think I'm starting to get it...
--Your promise
--your mercy
--Your forgiveness
--Your grace
--Your compassion
--Your love
You push me and I no longer resist
You call for me and I now answer
You equip me and I walk with confidence
You shower me with love, which flows from me to others
but I'm not there yet...
I pray for understanding to grow each day
both in what I read from Your work and where I see You at work
I pray for opportunities
to serve my family both spiritually and physically
to witness and minister to my brothers and sisters in the body
to assist You in completing the work You've begun in my son
to be obedient to finishing the work You've started in me
My Father, I thank you for hard lessons learned
of my own selfishness as opposed to You glory
of patience and compassion as opposed to anger an judgement
of victory as opposed to persistent battle
of solitude as opposed to uncertainty
of grace as opposed to control
of hope as opposed to wonder
may this season of my life never end...
as a child feeling the safety that comes from a parent's embrace
with a peace which makes me feel like I'm home--no matter where I'm at.
I think I'm starting to get it...
--Your promise
--your mercy
--Your forgiveness
--Your grace
--Your compassion
--Your love
You push me and I no longer resist
You call for me and I now answer
You equip me and I walk with confidence
You shower me with love, which flows from me to others
but I'm not there yet...
I pray for understanding to grow each day
both in what I read from Your work and where I see You at work
I pray for opportunities
to serve my family both spiritually and physically
to witness and minister to my brothers and sisters in the body
to assist You in completing the work You've begun in my son
to be obedient to finishing the work You've started in me
My Father, I thank you for hard lessons learned
of my own selfishness as opposed to You glory
of patience and compassion as opposed to anger an judgement
of victory as opposed to persistent battle
of solitude as opposed to uncertainty
of grace as opposed to control
of hope as opposed to wonder
may this season of my life never end...
light
stepping into a smaller view
two eyes that stop at the horizon
must have been scary
to see so little all at once
like the lights went out
light sees darkness for the first time
You cried with us, and for us
and vowed to wipe away those tears
no wonder You gave sight back
more light has been Your goal all along
we think we have the market cornered-
seeing it?
try being it
darkness so foreign to light
He came to make it foreign to us again
that we may chase it away
until only light remains
two eyes that stop at the horizon
must have been scary
to see so little all at once
like the lights went out
light sees darkness for the first time
You cried with us, and for us
and vowed to wipe away those tears
no wonder You gave sight back
more light has been Your goal all along
we think we have the market cornered-
seeing it?
try being it
darkness so foreign to light
He came to make it foreign to us again
that we may chase it away
until only light remains
you and me
you envelope me
surround and support my crooked climbing
you hold me
tightly gripped yet open-palmed
you love me
you say it loud, this wreckless gift
you chose me
Lord, I can't make sense of this
you bought me
sealed forever in red receipts
you define me
once hiding in fear, now hidden for awe
you know me
your mirror-truth breaks heavy chains
you free me
now choice is mine and i choose you
you welcome me
you've never left the porch of waiting
you consume me
until all that's left is what you hide inside
surround and support my crooked climbing
you hold me
tightly gripped yet open-palmed
you love me
you say it loud, this wreckless gift
you chose me
Lord, I can't make sense of this
you bought me
sealed forever in red receipts
you define me
once hiding in fear, now hidden for awe
you know me
your mirror-truth breaks heavy chains
you free me
now choice is mine and i choose you
you welcome me
you've never left the porch of waiting
you consume me
until all that's left is what you hide inside
tonight
I don't know where to start...
I suppose I could start by thanking You
-for a lovely family
-loyal friends
-financial provision
-health
-laughter
But that is not my heart tonight,
and You know that full well.
I am forced to face You tonight,
and that is not a comfortable feeling.
Though You are always there guiding me
I feel like I'm going in circles.
full of questions
full of doubts
knowing the truth but still wanting answers.
why, how, when, where...
who.
they are but evidence of my lack of trust.
even still Your voice is calling
and You are not far away.
bidding me "come one step further."
father, help me to rest in Your peace
and to let You guide me through my
next steps.
I suppose I could start by thanking You
-for a lovely family
-loyal friends
-financial provision
-health
-laughter
But that is not my heart tonight,
and You know that full well.
I am forced to face You tonight,
and that is not a comfortable feeling.
Though You are always there guiding me
I feel like I'm going in circles.
full of questions
full of doubts
knowing the truth but still wanting answers.
why, how, when, where...
who.
they are but evidence of my lack of trust.
even still Your voice is calling
and You are not far away.
bidding me "come one step further."
father, help me to rest in Your peace
and to let You guide me through my
next steps.
You give life to me
Jesus, you are the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Although I shift and change, You never do.
Although I often become unfaithful, You remain faithful.
You are my provider even when circumstances make it seem
that I may not be provided for.
You promote me and advance me, allowing me to pursue
the passions of my heart, even though I don't understand why
You give me wisdom and bless the work of my hands.
When things become overwhelming and difficult You
give me strength, perseverance and hope.
You sit beside me during times of confusion because
You desire more for me than I could ever imagine for myself.
You give life to me and have created life inside of me.
I am depending on You to guide me, to show me
what the next step is for me.
My desire is to be deeply connected to you, to know
You, to seek You, but there are so many distractions
Give me an undivided heart for You.
Prepare me for what You have for me and make
You ways clear. Teach me you love so
that I may know how to love and
cherish all that You are and all You have given.
Although I shift and change, You never do.
Although I often become unfaithful, You remain faithful.
You are my provider even when circumstances make it seem
that I may not be provided for.
You promote me and advance me, allowing me to pursue
the passions of my heart, even though I don't understand why
You give me wisdom and bless the work of my hands.
When things become overwhelming and difficult You
give me strength, perseverance and hope.
You sit beside me during times of confusion because
You desire more for me than I could ever imagine for myself.
You give life to me and have created life inside of me.
I am depending on You to guide me, to show me
what the next step is for me.
My desire is to be deeply connected to you, to know
You, to seek You, but there are so many distractions
Give me an undivided heart for You.
Prepare me for what You have for me and make
You ways clear. Teach me you love so
that I may know how to love and
cherish all that You are and all You have given.
A psalm
To know such love is more than I can bear.
To feel such joy of the Savior's gift to me.
How do you say thank you and receive such a gift
when doubt and fear and failure had become your heart's
tone? Do I just accept it all and continue to sing my
hypocrite song? Or do I deny myself the joy, the smile, the
peace just so that I can't feel so bad about my sin
and my shortcomings?
"Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice?
On the heights along the way, where the paths meet
she takes her stand." Proverbs 8:1-2
I accept all these things on bended kneee. I embrace
joy with only a humble heart. I lift and exalt my Savior
and my God when I swallow...I must swallow my pride!
"Because when the questions dissolve into the silence of God,
the aching may remain, but the breaking does not." Andrew Peterson, "Love and Thunder"
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him,
on those whose hope is in His unfailing love," Psalm 33:18
To feel such joy of the Savior's gift to me.
How do you say thank you and receive such a gift
when doubt and fear and failure had become your heart's
tone? Do I just accept it all and continue to sing my
hypocrite song? Or do I deny myself the joy, the smile, the
peace just so that I can't feel so bad about my sin
and my shortcomings?
"Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice?
On the heights along the way, where the paths meet
she takes her stand." Proverbs 8:1-2
I accept all these things on bended kneee. I embrace
joy with only a humble heart. I lift and exalt my Savior
and my God when I swallow...I must swallow my pride!
"Because when the questions dissolve into the silence of God,
the aching may remain, but the breaking does not." Andrew Peterson, "Love and Thunder"
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him,
on those whose hope is in His unfailing love," Psalm 33:18
only
the walls rebuilt are as weak as before.
every step forward echoes against them.
the sounds loudly clanging will knock them down again.
it seems so hopeless, repeating forever--
only You truly save, Lord.
hear the cries of the broken again;
broken with waters too high to survive
and dreams now washed away--not dead but dying,
as surely as the next hurricane.
only You give life, Lord.
all that we build on to lift up our hearts
above all the horror of life an its struggles
that's not built on You will soon be submerged.
though gutted and groomed, its never a refuge.
only You are sure, Lord
the God of all history, ever repeating His truth:
all things we value and cherish
above or beside Him will be washed away, quickly
consumed and polluted, to fade into nothing.
only You will last, Lord.
Lord, show me where building my life has blinded me,
constructing a shelter in talent, ability,
wealth, friends or family, accomplishments and more--
I know it will wash away. I need you.
only You will hold, Lord
You are my hope, and while all is faltering
I can hold on and know You are holding me.
as I grip tightly, may the world see You as
more than a quick fix or just blame You for anything--
only You are hope, Lord.
every step forward echoes against them.
the sounds loudly clanging will knock them down again.
it seems so hopeless, repeating forever--
only You truly save, Lord.
hear the cries of the broken again;
broken with waters too high to survive
and dreams now washed away--not dead but dying,
as surely as the next hurricane.
only You give life, Lord.
all that we build on to lift up our hearts
above all the horror of life an its struggles
that's not built on You will soon be submerged.
though gutted and groomed, its never a refuge.
only You are sure, Lord
the God of all history, ever repeating His truth:
all things we value and cherish
above or beside Him will be washed away, quickly
consumed and polluted, to fade into nothing.
only You will last, Lord.
Lord, show me where building my life has blinded me,
constructing a shelter in talent, ability,
wealth, friends or family, accomplishments and more--
I know it will wash away. I need you.
only You will hold, Lord
You are my hope, and while all is faltering
I can hold on and know You are holding me.
as I grip tightly, may the world see You as
more than a quick fix or just blame You for anything--
only You are hope, Lord.
random thoughts
as life moves at an ever quickening pace, Lord,
be my center, my anchor
so that i'm not swept away by the world.
My wisdom gives me trouble;
give me Your wisdom.
My thoughts bring disappointment,
may your Holy Spirit give me Your thoughts.
My actions bring consequences;
help me choose eternal actions over momentary actions.
Maybe I'm overthinking this.
Simplify it.
Increase my understanding.
Increase my compassion.
Let me see the bigger picture
Let me see the Kingdom works.
Grace, mercy, these are great things.
How blessed am I because of this.
be my center, my anchor
so that i'm not swept away by the world.
My wisdom gives me trouble;
give me Your wisdom.
My thoughts bring disappointment,
may your Holy Spirit give me Your thoughts.
My actions bring consequences;
help me choose eternal actions over momentary actions.
Maybe I'm overthinking this.
Simplify it.
Increase my understanding.
Increase my compassion.
Let me see the bigger picture
Let me see the Kingdom works.
Grace, mercy, these are great things.
How blessed am I because of this.
always suprising
Lord, I felt your presence with me today
providing me peace, joy in my work, and a
sense of calm; and although I asked
you specifically for these things this morning
it's always surprising when I realize that
You care enough to provide these things
for me.
I realize that I am in a season of
my life in which you want to completely
strip me of all the things that keep me
from truly being free. I'm ready and
willing to enter into this time because
I realizer that I can't nor do I want
to stay where I've been.
My heart cries out with a
sense of urgency to fully know you
and your power working in me and aeound
me. Please lead me to where
I need to be.
providing me peace, joy in my work, and a
sense of calm; and although I asked
you specifically for these things this morning
it's always surprising when I realize that
You care enough to provide these things
for me.
I realize that I am in a season of
my life in which you want to completely
strip me of all the things that keep me
from truly being free. I'm ready and
willing to enter into this time because
I realizer that I can't nor do I want
to stay where I've been.
My heart cries out with a
sense of urgency to fully know you
and your power working in me and aeound
me. Please lead me to where
I need to be.
Chills
Chills are when you feel that the room is cool
like when God allows you to realize
something amazing
you get chills-
you realize there is a change in something.
like when God allows you to realize
something amazing
you get chills-
you realize there is a change in something.
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord
for your car and what's in it
when you need it repaired thank Him
and share God's blessings with others
in that situation.
Praise Him in the darkest times for
you can only see the light more-
praise Him with your eyes and your mind
the ability to think
God gave them
use them to glorify God.
God has given and give so that
we can join him for eternity in heaven
Thank God for the people around you,
other followers and the lost, thank Him,
Allow your involvement with them to
be glorious.
Thank the Lord Almighty and praise
Him for all eternity. Praise
the Lord.
for your car and what's in it
when you need it repaired thank Him
and share God's blessings with others
in that situation.
Praise Him in the darkest times for
you can only see the light more-
praise Him with your eyes and your mind
the ability to think
God gave them
use them to glorify God.
God has given and give so that
we can join him for eternity in heaven
Thank God for the people around you,
other followers and the lost, thank Him,
Allow your involvement with them to
be glorious.
Thank the Lord Almighty and praise
Him for all eternity. Praise
the Lord.
hurt and hurt
God, what the heck?
I hurt and hurt
but yet I still don't see You
I run from the pain
but I also run from You.
I need to run to You
when I am in struggle
not worldly comforts because
its so temporary.
Sometimes I just want to talk to You for hours
but God, sometimes when I pray for a mended heart
you seem to not hear and I'm still broken.
Help me, O God
for I've tried everything else
and still come up empty and dry
no living water
where can i find substance
other than in you arms?
people will come and go
but God, You remain faithful
even when my curious heart
and soul are not
after all, this life is just a flash in the pan
Thank You God.
You are my life
I hurt and hurt
but yet I still don't see You
I run from the pain
but I also run from You.
I need to run to You
when I am in struggle
not worldly comforts because
its so temporary.
Sometimes I just want to talk to You for hours
but God, sometimes when I pray for a mended heart
you seem to not hear and I'm still broken.
Help me, O God
for I've tried everything else
and still come up empty and dry
no living water
where can i find substance
other than in you arms?
people will come and go
but God, You remain faithful
even when my curious heart
and soul are not
after all, this life is just a flash in the pan
Thank You God.
You are my life
craving peace
Lord, sometimes the journey is tough
I know in my heart You're faithful
I look around and can see and feel You're always there
...but sometimes i wander.
Although I try and not step off the path
I allow my focus to be distracted and opposed to focusing on you
O Father, please protect me...
Stand in front between me and the enemy
for he tries mightily to catch my attention
he stirs my anger and fills my head with confusion
he tempts me away from compassion and forgiveness
and pushes me to stand on my own.
he fills my day with busyness and selfishness and at times
arrogance as opposed to righteousness.
Lord, I crave the peace that only You can deliver
and I long for the time that peace will rule.
Give me the strength to combat this enemy. Help me
protect the hearts which You have entrusted me with. Give
me vision to clearly see his motives.
Fill my spirit with truth and love.
You are my King, my Warrior and Commander.
Entrust me in this battle.
I know in my heart You're faithful
I look around and can see and feel You're always there
...but sometimes i wander.
Although I try and not step off the path
I allow my focus to be distracted and opposed to focusing on you
O Father, please protect me...
Stand in front between me and the enemy
for he tries mightily to catch my attention
he stirs my anger and fills my head with confusion
he tempts me away from compassion and forgiveness
and pushes me to stand on my own.
he fills my day with busyness and selfishness and at times
arrogance as opposed to righteousness.
Lord, I crave the peace that only You can deliver
and I long for the time that peace will rule.
Give me the strength to combat this enemy. Help me
protect the hearts which You have entrusted me with. Give
me vision to clearly see his motives.
Fill my spirit with truth and love.
You are my King, my Warrior and Commander.
Entrust me in this battle.
where there is little
Lord God in Heaven and on Earth
You bring me peace in a world
where there is little.
You bring clarity to a mind that is filled
with clutter and confusion;
truth in a world of lies
You've show me how to focus
eyes that were tired of seeing.
How to hear Your word amongst
the chatter and din.
You comforted me through sorrow and loss.
You washed away my bitterness
and dried my tears.
You have turned my head towards the future and hope
and away from dwelling on the past.
Lord God in Heaven and on Earth
You bring me peace in a world
where there is little.
You bring me peace in a world
where there is little.
You bring clarity to a mind that is filled
with clutter and confusion;
truth in a world of lies
You've show me how to focus
eyes that were tired of seeing.
How to hear Your word amongst
the chatter and din.
You comforted me through sorrow and loss.
You washed away my bitterness
and dried my tears.
You have turned my head towards the future and hope
and away from dwelling on the past.
Lord God in Heaven and on Earth
You bring me peace in a world
where there is little.
the psalms of hope project
welcome to psalms of hope--a blog created for Hope Community Church of Frankfort-Lawrenceburg, KY. this blog is designed as both a creative outlet and a sounding board for the creative journey of the people of our church. the writings here are the prayers and cries of people who not only believe that God is worth seeking, but that in our writings we find a way to connect with Him that inches us towards Him. you will read struggles, questions, pleadings, thanks, and confessions, all of which play a part in our communing and wrestling with the mystery of God. we pray these writings bless you and challenge you to write and explore through writing your own journey of faith.
FYI--
these psalms are posted anonymously unless the author wants their name posted.
the author's name will be put in the tag section if posted
submissions are welcomed; email them to drew@hopecommunitychurch.net
FYI--
these psalms are posted anonymously unless the author wants their name posted.
the author's name will be put in the tag section if posted
submissions are welcomed; email them to drew@hopecommunitychurch.net
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