tonight

I don't know where to start...
I suppose I could start by thanking You
-for a lovely family
-loyal friends
-financial provision
-health
-laughter

But that is not my heart tonight,
and You know that full well.
I am forced to face You tonight,
and that is not a comfortable feeling.
Though You are always there guiding me
I feel like I'm going in circles.
full of questions
full of doubts
knowing the truth but still wanting answers.
why, how, when, where...
who.
they are but evidence of my lack of trust.
even still Your voice is calling
and You are not far away.
bidding me "come one step further."
father, help me to rest in Your peace
and to let You guide me through my
next steps.